BRUSSELS’ MOST UNLIKELY SOURCE OF FAKE NEWS: Members of the Brussels bubble have lots of different, sometimes colorful, words for Emily Oâ™Reilly, the EU ombudsman, a former journalist with a reputation for tenaciousness and transparency. But Playbook would never have linked Oâ™Reilly to fake news â until now. Last week, the ombudsman â inspired by images of President Donald Trump signing executive orders surrounded by only men â staged her own photo op. Oâ™Reilly, according to the caption of the picture posted on her officeâ™s Instagram account, was âsigning decisions to improve #EU administration #womenineu #workplacediversity #nogendergap #genderequality #womeninmanagement #womeninleadership #euombudsman #ombudsteam.â Playbook asked to take a look at the statement she was signing and was told âthe picture says it all.â Except it didnâ™t, because there is no new diversity policy or achievement at the ombudsmanâ™s office, according to a source. Oâ™Reilly was actually signing a blank sheet of paper. Never mind, Oâ™Reilly has fewer than 100 followers on Instagram. And you can always file a complaint to the EU ombudsman. Oh, wait … [ppeuombudsman47x33] INTRODUCING THE BINDER OF BRUSSELS WOMEN: Mitt Romney lives on in the hearts of many in Brussels. Mostly because heâ™s not Donald Trump, but also because his awkward comment about having âbinders full of womenâ inspired a number of think tanks to set up a database of women able and willing to join public policy debates in Brussels. Supporters are crowd-funding the initiative, based on EUPanelWatch data that shows that in 2016 just a quarter of all speakers at international Brussels conferences were women. At a third of high-profile Brussels events there wasnâ™t a single female voice, according to the data. Corinna Horst from the German Marshall Fund of the United States wrote to backers: âThe gender disparity isnâ™t a supply problem. Instead, thereâ™s a demand deficit.â MICHEL BARNIER, THE FEDERALIST: One of the biggest lobby shops in Brussels, FTI Consulting, in the latest edition of its âBrexit Bowl,â described the Commissionâ™s chief Brexit negotiator as an âardent federalist,â a description that is unlikely to please the Frenchman. FTI is however more accurate on Barnierâ™s âtesty relationship with the City of London.â COURT REJECTS BID FOR EU QUARTER AIR MONITORING: A Brussels court ruled this week against an environmental law firm and residents seeking to force regional authorities to better monitor air pollutants in the Belgian capital. The nonprofit firm ClientEarth and five residents wanted the court to order the authorities to check the concentration of nitrogen dioxide, mainly emitted from diesel cars, and PM10 particulates in two areas with heavy traffic â outside the Arts-Loi metro station and on nearby Rue Belliard. Monitoring stations already exist at both locations but are switched off. The court instead decided to wait for a final ruling on a separate case about the adequacy of Brusselsâ™ plan to tackle air pollution, due later in 2017. MAKE BRUSSELS CLEAN AGAIN: Hereâ™s a non-partisan campaign we can all support. > Terrible! This is not #Brussels. Fake news! Our streets are clean > and tidy. Politicians love our city. It's a fact. Ok? #Bruxelles > #Brussel pic.twitter.com/wSpyACIP4n > > — We Love Brussels (@welovebrussels) February 12, 2017 QUOTE OF THE WEEK: “Maybe America first means also that you have to deal with America first.â â EU High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy Federica Mogherini. GAFFES AND LAUGHS I HEART EU: The European Commissionâ™s social media team celebrated Valentineâ™s Day by listing all the reasons they were infatuated with the EU. âWe love the EU because we love to be united in diversity,â said a post on Facebook. The trolling began almost immediately: âExcuse me,â said Iliyan Kostov, whose comment was liked 62 times, âWhat does âunited in diversityâ™ in biggest refugee crisis in modern history mean? And can you tell us two countries with one opinion on this matter?â The Commission replied in typically robotic language, saying âDear Iliyan, the Commission has repeated that it is clear that no EU country can or should be left alone to address huge migratory pressures.â NEW BALLS PLEASE: The United States Tennis Association played the Nazi-era version of Germanyâ™s national anthem during a Fed Cup tie between the two nations in Hawaii. âI thought it was the epitome of ignorance,â said German player Andrea Petkovic. SEXISM ALIVE AND WELL: Which Italian Commission official told a British MEP at a recent meeting it didnâ™t matter whether they got any work done as âat least we get to spend the afternoon with four beautiful girlsâ? TOUCHY SUBJECT: Sander Loones MEP railed against âpolitical masturbationâ this week in a press release. Playbook could, but wonâ™t, repeat the content of the press release as doing so would make us political pornographers. FEUD OF THE WEEK Herbert Reul vs Martin Schulz: The head of the German conservative delegation in the European Parliament compiled a nine-page dossier on Schulz full of allegations that he did favors for his aides by promoting them into cushy jobs while president of the assembly. Schulz has given the German center right a fright since moving from Brussels to Berlin by leading his Social Democrats to heights of popularity not seen in years. Reulâ™s document, complete with typos and grammatical mistakes, also accuses Schulz of not acting in German interests in the European Parliament. Put those claws away, Herbert. [Herbert Reul and Martin Schulz | Source Images by Getty Images] Herbert Reul and Martin Schulz | Source Images by Getty Images BY THE NUMBERS 216: Metric tons of gold the German central bank recently moved from Paris and New York to Frankfurt. 20,833 â Number of EU laws and rules to be discussed in Brexit negotiations. With only around 500 working days to get things sorted out, negotiators will have to get through 40 laws per day. 2064 â When the last EU pension for UKIPâ™s parliamentary staff could kick in. 0 â Number of times the U.K. used the EUâ™s globalization adjustment fund for sacked workers before the Brexit referendum campaign. 5 â Years after Brexit that big brother Brussels will be watching U.K. recipients of EU funds. WHO’S UP, JUSTIN TRUDEAU: Canadaâ™s prime minister charmed U.S. and European politicians as he bounced between Washington and Strasbourg. JAROSÅAW KACZYÅSKI: The leader of Polandâ™s Law and Justice Party is smiling at recent polls, which have the party at 40 percent support. WHO’S DOWN FRANçOIS FILLON: The center-right candidate for French president is under pressure from his own party to step down after a scandal involving payments to his wife. ALEXIS TSIPRAS: The Greek prime minister is fighting for Greek creditors to strike a deal as soon as possible on an â¬86 billion bailout. Itâ™s not going well.