In the opening episode, black belt Chiles was given the chop. Whose dreams of business-partnership glory will Lord Sugar bludgeon this evening? Julia Raeside is watching 9.27pm BST The boys stride into JD Sports, and for some of them Id guess this isnt their first time. They show the buyers the laptop screen in portrait mode because the camera is implanted in the jumper on its side. That was some classy quick-thinking from Steven. 9.26pm BST The solar shoulder pads could almost pass for a design detail. But not actually. Just almost. It looks a bit like a donkey jacket. 9.25pm BST The camera is pointing at the boys but no one has said anything for over three minutes now. Its just noise. Daniel says Scott should get a grip, but not to his face.Finally the girls jacket arrives. I was really hoping for full-size solar panels (like youd get on a house) attached to giant shoulder pads. That just looks like a shit jacket. 9.24pm BST There was a confident Moving forward there from Scott. Please tick this off your bingo cards and drink a shot of printer ink. 9.23pm BST The huge On Air logo might be a bit of a give-away. But at least the boys have a prototype.The girls answer the door to a note saying their prototype is taking ages and isnt ready. Disaster darling. 9.22pm BST James says, The project managers been absent, when he could have just said, Scott is not here. Its this kind of estate agent-ese that is essential to the Apprentice candidate. They dont get past the audition without it.Here come the finished prototypes. The boys have a sweatshirt with a video camera in it for your busy neighbourhood sex pest. Secretly film people without them knowing! 9.20pm BST Nick poo-poos Scott and is clearly enjoying the total failure of the boys to agree on a thing. Anything now, fellas. A posing pouch with an MP3 player in it. Anything! 9.20pm BST Can the sun actually be absorbed by a solar panel if its under a piece of material, ask the girls very sensibly. This wont do. Theyre over-thinking things. I prefer it when theyre being insanely optimistic. 9.19pm BST Back at Tenaci-jacket central, they really ARE going to add in solar panels. How thrilling! All you have to do is go somewhere sunny and point your shoulders towards a strong light source. Stay there for two, maybe three hours and Bobs your uncle! You can give your phone 5-6% charge! 9.17pm BST Over at Scotts design meeting, the designer pours cold water on their jumper idea. They all put their heads in their hands, ensuring their place in the next sad montage. 9.16pm BST The designer of the Tenaci-jacket is politely trying to tell them its too complicated. Nonsense! Add small microwave in the left sleeve. Youre not thinking BIG enough. 9.16pm BST Mark is acting as a Greek chorus tonight in case were not keeping up with the complex group dynamic. To summarise, Robert was chicken shit and Scott keeps passing the blame. Got it. 9.15pm BST Scott is in the shop where I bought the fabric for my wedding dress. Fact. I am going to cut up my wedding dress and insert temperature controls, a solar panel and light-up breastplate. Cool! 9.14pm BST The Tenacity jacket looks like being a disco light-up temperature control jacket with charging socket. That should be a peace of piss. Why dont you hurl in a teasmade as well? 9.13pm BST People carriers swoop in and take the teams to meet their public at a series of always awkward focus groups. A member of the public has just done a really convincing Oh my god I would love that, as Bianca offers her a jacket with colour-change lapels. So useful! 9.11pm BST Guys guys guys. The guys simply cannot agree on what the thing should be, let alone what colour the thing should be. The girls have fashion insight. All women are wearing jackets, says Lindsay. By god, shes right! 9.10pm BST The girls all take turns in worming out of the PM job because they know this one is a poisoned chalice. Nurun is the least best at worming and gets landed with the job. Bad luck, Nurun. 9.09pm BST And the girls change their team name to Tenacity. TENACITY. Its a word that you only really ever hear on The Apprentice. What you get with me, Lord Sugar, is a person made of pure steel and high-tensile tenacity. 9.09pm BST Ah Scott! The Scot has taken charge and suggest a diet doo-hicky that somehow tells you what youre eating while you wear it. Surely youd know? 9.08pm BST While the girls gawp at a skirt made of disco lights, Robert worms his way out of being PM by inferring the whole thing sounds a bit downmarket. Robert, you are a contestant on The Apprentice. Which bit of that leads you to think you are required to be UP-market? 9.07pm BST Al suggests Robert (beautiful sheep) might like to lead the boys on this one as he works in fashion. I think I heard a small fart of fear escape his fashionable britches. 9.06pm BST People often need to dash about on this show. Surely youd wear trainers to be in a state of ever-readiness.Sugar explains wearable technology. Quite disappointed hes not wearing one of those Hat FM baseball caps with the radio and earphones built in. 9.05pm BST Im on a mission tonight to find one girl, just one, who doesnt totter around on shoes that make them walk like a poorly duck. 9.04pm BST Hang on - Scott was singled out? Is it bad that I dont remember him? And Scottish too. I bet he cant wait for all the referendum gags Alan has lined up for him.So there are 19 suits left. Which one will leave the t-shirts at the printers tonight? 9.02pm BST Remember, when he says Youre fired every candidate is well within their rights to reply, No, Im not because its just factually incorrect.Sarah reminding us in the recap that shes fairly awful and thats in a sea of so many other pretty bloody awful errrr waves. 9.01pm BST This is not about chancing yer arm, barks Sugar as he surveys a bunch of right blousy chancers. Hes swearing a lot in this preamble isnt he? Last resort of the inarticulate, they say. 8.59pm BST OK, settle in chaps. Not long now. You do know they are inventing wearable technology tonight, right? The mind boggles. I wonder who will officially be crowned the girls PM tonight so that Sarah can completely ignore their instructions? 8.58pm BST I have never seen a single episode of Waterloo Road, one of the most popular BBC dramas of all time. I apologise to all involved and promise to try and catch it. Next week, yep definitely. 8.56pm BST Butterfield nails it as per. Exactly how I feel.The Apprentice is on again? Is it next week already? #TheApprentice 8.31pm BST Welcome back if you were here last night and hello, where have you been if youre just joining us thinking this is the first episode in a new series of The Apprentice.Ive barely had time to wipe the drool from my chin or change my clothes since last nights corporate stampede. Twenty new candidates swept majestically across the forecourt of that building where they film the boardroom scenes and herded into Alans vestibule as they awaited his call to send them in. Continue reading...
 |
| READ THE ORIGINAL POST AT www.theguardian.com |
