The super-wealthy Qatari head of state has snapped up some desirable properties for a bargain-basement price
Age: A well-preserved 61.
Appearance: Magnificent.
Don't you mean fat? How dare you! The emir (real name, Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani) is a fine figure of a man and we won't hear a word against him.
What's happened to Pass Notes' fearless satirical edge? We are talking about one of the world's richest men here, and times are hard. Who knows when Pass Notes might need a sponsor?
Does he back many media outlets? Qatari money was instrumental in setting up al-Jazeera, though the station denies the emir runs the show.
What else does he own? Harrods, a large chunk of the Sardinian coast, and now six Greek islands, snapped up for £7m in a distress sale.
Does he like Greece? He parked his luxury yacht there once and fell in love with it. The only drawback is the rule that no home on his new islands can be bigger than 250 sq m. He points out his palace toilets are bigger than that.
How do the Greeks feel about their new owner? Ecstatic. Wherever his eminence goes, his wallet – sorry, warm personality – is met with unalloyed delight. No fewer than 30 countries have given him honours. The UK made him an Honorary Knight Grand Cross of the Order of St Michael and St George, and France gave him the Grand Cross of the Legion of Honour. Twice.
Does he deserve these gongs? Of course. He's a remarkable soldier. After he graduated from Sandhurst in 1971, he was immediately made a lieutenant-colonel in the Qatari army.
Any skeletons in the cupboard? He deposed his father in a palace coup while the latter was in Switzerland – but these things happen. His dad had come to power in the same way and they're all fine about it now.
A kind of occasional government sheikh-up? Exactly.
Does the emir have anything to fear on that front? Not at all. His tight lyknit family of three wives, 11 sons and 13 daughters adore him.
Not to be confused with: The Sultan of Brunei.
Do say: "That'll do nicely."
Don't say: "What about buying a chalet in Switzerland?"
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