The politically astute comedian, who is currently on tour with his arms trade exposé Cuckooed, was here to answer your questions – from his views on the Ukraine to Russell Brand and Nigel Farage. Read his answers in full below. 2.21pm GMT Thank you for all your questions. I have to go sack another chauffeur. 2.20pm GMT earweego asks:When the Met police are requesting that demonstrators should cough up and pay private security companies to officiate security at demonstrations, because the Met itself can’t afford it. Apart from being an infringement on civil liberties, would you suggest ignoring their demands and marching without permission?I think we should have a sponsored walk to raise money for it. But we shouldn't apply for permission for the walk. 2.20pm GMT ID1796691 asks:Blur or Oasis?Chas'n'Dave. 2.19pm GMT BuboBubo asks:What’s your favourite owl?Snowy. 2.18pm GMT appertutto asks:I remember seeing a bit of a programme you did years ago where a man found highly radioactive material in his back garden. He got totally stonewalled by the government and the oil company who used to own the land whenever he tried to get answers.Did I imagine this story and, if not, do you know what happened to the man?The chap is still campaigning. I saw him about six months ago. I've forgotten his details but I will find them and forward them on. 2.17pm GMT Isthisnow asks:Of all of the suggestions made in The People’s Manifesto, which one do you rate above all others and recommend to become statute?We've mentioned renationalisation of the railways, maximum wage, and all models chosen from the national voters' register. The other one I enjoyed a lot was that footballers should be paid in cash at the end of each match in the centre circle, in front of the crowd. 2.16pm GMT KingBoyDave asks:You don’t seem unduly troubled by self-doubt. When were you last wrong about anything?You haven't been following very closely. 2.15pm GMT ilGatto asks:What did you make of the Scottish referendum?I think Yes will win on the next one. 2.15pm GMT toadwhisperer asks:Did /does Charlie Hebdo have a right to insult in the name of satire?It has the right to offend. Just as I have the right to be offended. The interesting thing about freedom of speech issues is that people tend to defend it where it affects them. I wrote a few years ago about a Palestinian/Israeli theatre director who was assassinated outside the Freedom Theatre in Jenin. Few on either side were concerned with his murder when it was an issue that should have affected all of us. 2.13pm GMT homer121 asks:Have you ever sacked a driver because he had different political views to yours?I've sacked countless numbers of chauffeurs because of their unwillingness to show support for anarcho-syndicalism. 2.11pm GMT Jodders asks:The moves by the government to end check-off payments by members to PCS Union: what should be done to tackle the governments attempts at union busting when HMRC staff are going to be needed more than ever to fight corporate tax avoidance?I think I'm right in saying that the more HMRC staff you have, the more tax avoidance and evasion you get back. In effect the jobs pay for themselves many times over. So if Cameron and Osborne are arguing that the cuts are justifiable by austerity then the facts fly in the face of that. Union busting, you fight it with two ways. One is for the union to be effective, and to really represent a fight for your members, and build the support that you need. The second is to show non union members in a wider community how integral the union is to that community. 2.10pm GMT ID075732 asks:Given your work in uncovering the unscrupulous methods used by the arms trade, what is your take on the US proposing to arm Ukraine?I'm always wary about arming another country. Arms sales are notorious for corruption, the weapons last a very long time, and move into various sectors. For example, Beretta sold guns to the Italian police. The police sold them second hand back to the company, the company then resold them through a dealer in Cornwall onto Iraq where they were to be used by the police. Some of them ended up being used to attack British soldiers. That's roughly the route it went. Arming someone doesn't guarantee the weapons stay where they're intended, nor does it guarantee that the person will use them in the way you think appropriate. These things last a horribly long time. There was a surface to air missile that was launched against an El Al plane in Kenya - I think that weapon was originally from Afghanistan, supplied by the US. I'd always be wary. 2.09pm GMT Dave James asks: As time goes on, do you find yourself becoming more or less angry at things like injustice, misuse of power and greed?No. I do find that I need a nap in the afternoon though. 2.08pm GMT Ikonoclast asks:Couldn’t you have done a Beppe Grillo, and created a political alternative like he did in Italy, with circa 20% of the national vote? No. People often ask if I would consider running for Parliament and I'm extremely honest about this. I'm ill-suited, disinclined, and would be more corrupt than you could ever imagine. 2.06pm GMT theharper asks:If you could give Russell Brand one piece of advice from the benefit of your wealth of experience in challenging the political establishment, what would it be?Pace yourself. If you're in it for the long haul, be in it for the long haul. 2.05pm GMT crazykid5 asks:If you could have one piece of legislation passed into law what would it be and why?Maximum wage, again. 2.03pm GMT ID6672126 asks:On the principle of, since no one else is willing to do it... my friend is standing as a Green Party candidate in the forthcoming general election. Any advice?Try to be honest. And don't wear anything that looks like hemp. 2.02pm GMT Edspin asks:Can we ever expect to the Comedy Product on TV or even online again?No. I stopped doing the show when I felt we weren't getting the time and the budget to develop the show we should do, and when we began to treat it like a product, when we began to feel like we knew how to do it. It only worked when it felt like an adventure, for us; when it felt like a routine it was time to pack it in. You can see old episodes on the net - some are still worth looking at. 2.01pm GMT Quartus asks: As far as improving the chances of actually bringing about change goes, what’s the most effective method of speaking truth to power? Aggressive? Diplomatic? Sympathetic? What works best?Whatever fits the situation. 2.00pm GMT hundredhander asks:When you see the things that are happening in this country; sheer greed, growing inequality, an assault on our freedoms and basic rights, political corruption, wholesale attacks on the weakest in society, do you ever begin to despair?Also, why do you think there is so little satire now? Is it because real life and real events have just gone beyond?I think you would be an insensitive clod if you didn't have moments of doubt and despair. 1.59pm GMT ickFin asks: Do you think the BBC were impartial in their coverage of the independence referendum?I don't think it was. One of the B's is for British - go figure. 1.59pm GMT crazykid5 asks: Are there any current politicians whom you particularly admire?Caroline Lucas. I did like David Ervine, and his deputy Dawn Purvis. But one is dead, and one resigned. 1.58pm GMT LittleRichardjohn writes: Still true today?“ The greatest mistake is to imagine that the human being is an autonomous individual. The secret freedom which you can supposedly enjoy under a despotic government is nonsense, because your thoughts are never entirely your own. Philosophers, writers, artists, even scientists, not only need encouragement and an audience, they need constant stimulation from other people. It is almost impossible to think without talking. If Defoe had really lived on a desert island, he could not have written Robinson Crusoe, nor would he have wanted to. Take away freedom of speech, and the creative faculties dry up.”I think yes. When I had massive publishing deadlines, when I finished Walking the Wall, the first thing I did was go on a spree to theatre, gigs, films, opera, it was like going on this orgy of culture I was denied. It wasn't planned, it was impulsive. Speaking entirely personally, you need to see things, you need to be inspired. Sometimes that can be seeing something awful, but you still need it. 1.57pm GMT dmks asks: With the news lately, I am moved to be so disgusted with HSBC that (once I’m in the black again) I want to move my current account elsewhere. However, I’ve heard that the Co-Op bank is run by nasty venture capitalists... so relatively speaking, where might I put my lack of money, such that I am complicit with the lesser of crooks?The Bank of the Mattress is looking ever more ethical. 1.55pm GMT Gary Brown asks: Do you think direct action is ever legit and do you think with the apathetic British public more attitude is needed?Yes and yes. 1.53pm GMT Bodmass 3 asks: How should one safely dispose of the Farage?As you know, the neologism "farage" means "the liquid found at the bottom of a waste bin or container". The best way to get rid of farage is regular hosing. Or if you have liquid at the bottom of your crisper ("fridge-farage"), regular washing up. 1.52pm GMT 1to618 asks: Have Heydon Prowse and Jolyon Rubinstein stolen your thunder?I like them and I like their show. I'm a fan. 1.51pm GMT Mandy potter asks: Years ago I remember seeing you and contributing to the collection raising money to take Tony Blair to the court of human rights as a war criminal. Life got in the way and I never knew the out come of that, did you raise enough to hire lawyers then or will the outcome of the Chilcott report enable that to happen?This followed an attempt to get the government's legal thinking on going to war in Iraq (this was pre-invasion). We failed in our attempt to get the government's legal advice on war, and tried to raise money to get Blair into court. We used the money for a tribunal, to examine the possibilities of getting Blair into court. The fallout of that was the legal work done by Phil Shiner. As for Chilcott, I think you'll have to wait a long long time. 1.50pm GMT MrSvejk asks: What per cent of the population would you say are brainwashed?The percentage that doesn't believe me. 1.49pm GMT hOhSeven asks:Chris Morris once described your satire as that of “a man who bullies receptionists”. What is your response to that?That quote is about 18 years old. And I think it inaccurate. He was referring to the TV show I did at Channel 4. And if I try and do a fair audit of what we did and achieved, there are some programmes we made which I'm still proud of and some which were crap. I think there was always one brilliant show a series, one shit one, and the rest were OK. I did a rough count the other day of the people we actually doorstepped and interviewed. Over 50 MPs, a deputy prime minister, chief executives of various companies, Home Office minister, trade minister, health, DTI (as was), foreign minister, leader of the opposition and a couple of spin doctors. None of whom you'd describe as receptionists.What did the show achieve? Other than pay my mortgage for six years. We're credited with changing the law on inheritance tax. We made a major multinational change some of its practices. We exposed corruption within the old ECGD, we exposed Labour MPs' hypocrisy on property, we were part of the leading charge on using the Data Protection Act and FOI, the work we did on the old ECGD now forms the template for NGO activity, and one of the shows on globalised industry is still used as a teaching tool. All of which isn't a bad score. 1.48pm GMT Rainborough asks:Do you agree that Guardian readers should get a vote on the paper’s next editor? And why do you think they are being refused one?Yes! Why is it being refused? Because we'd probably vote for Keith Chegwin. 1.47pm GMT forumsfeedback asks: If this country was run the way you would like it to be for ten, twenty, thirty years - what would this country become like, how would it be different?There'd be a lot more statues to me. Railways nationalised. No privatisation of the NHS. Private schools gone. Maximum wage introduced. And my favourite ever Manifesto policy, which was models should be chosen at random from the electoral register. 1.46pm GMT edi_punk asks: Was Hull the weirdest gig you ever did? (I’m just going for some cheese....)One of them... it actually ended up that one of the hecklers was subsequently charged and found guilty of her behaviour in relation to the young woman in the wheelchair. They threatened her. I can't remember the exact charge. It was very weird. Though what the local press actually covered was that I called someone in the audience a cunt. 1.45pm GMT DickTurnip asks: Does satire work as a catalyst or a pacifier?Depends if it's good or bad. 1.45pm GMT tfoulkes1971 asks:What gives you hope?The fact that we are naturally rebellious as human beings. I love the fact that council tenants challenge, that these are movement that are growing. I love that the Kurds have whipped Isis's arse in Kobani. This is fantastic! Seeing people struggling against the odds is always inspiring, and there's more of it around than we notice or are informed of. 1.43pm GMT Gmarthews asks: Do you think the UK should move towards a republic with a written constitution, division of power and all the other checks and balances that the other democracies take for granted?A written constitution would be great. I think America is actually light years ahead of the UK when it comes to governance, on freedom of information, the right to free speech, and we do need to divide powers. What we also need is an extension of these ideas. South Africa's constitution actually says the government has an obligation to materially improve the lives of South Africans year on year. I for one would be delighted if we could introduce something like that.Imagine taking Cameron to court for austerity, under that constitution? 1.42pm GMT xafeec asks: Throughout your many interviews and investigations/research over the past few years, you’ve no doubt met many interesting/strange/immoral/enlightened people. Have any one of them truly scared you with their outlook?The weirder the outlook, the funnier it normally is. I met an arms dealer who told me that would should be free to own guns, and the banning of them was akin to introducing seatbelts. He didn't frighten me, but he certainly gave me some material. I did also meet an Israeli settler who is now elected onto the Jerusalem municipal council, who told me Israel's border was the Euphrates. In Iraq? I said. God wants you to build Israel all the way to Iraq? He said yes. I said good luck, but left genuinely worried. 1.41pm GMT 1.39pm GMT lordweffington asks:We all know that anyone who grew a beard after 2007 is a twat but what is your favourite craft beer?Ginger. 1.37pm GMT RabbitLeader asks:Do you think lefties can be smug, arrogant, and of course hypocritical?Can we ignore this question? I'm seriously behind in my coke intake. 1.36pm GMT easterman writes:That is why no amount of cajolery, and no attempts at ethical or social seduction, can eradicate from my heart a deep burning hatred for the Tory Party that inflicted those bitter experiences on me. So far as I am concerned they are lower than vermin Aneurin BevanDo you think Bevan’s description of the Tory Party still applies or have standards slipped a little under Cameron?Cameron has done two good things. As a Conservative prime minister he apologised for Bloody Sunday. Which is long overdue and all the better for the fact it was made by a Tory. The second thing he did was equal marriage. Everything else, Bevan still applies. 1.34pm GMT macewen asks:As someone who’s studied the UK arms industry in-depth do you have any hot investment tips? Do you think Royal Ordnance or BAE shares will perform better?I think you'll find Royal Ordnance is owned by BAE. If you're going for gags, it's always best to try and be accurate. 1.33pm GMT Mark Cox asks: Is there a topic you would like to cover but never had the opportunity to gain evidence or investigate?Loads. 1.32pm GMT LeaderOfTheFree asks:Did you expect there to have been more changes for the positive in politics since you began in stand up?Yeah. I think the one thing I've learned is that there is a paradox, in that people have more power to change things than we think. But it always takes a lot more effort and time than we imagine. 1.31pm GMT shellac asks: Let’s jump straight to the great question of our age...This new Guardian redesign...Where do you stand?Hate it. Wish they would go back to the old one.This is exactly what I shall say on the next redesign too. 1.30pm GMT RobM329 asks: Mark, you wake up one morning and find out that God is actually real. He states that the world can be saved by one action on your part - you have to make sweet, passionate love to George Osborne. Would you? And what would you ask in return?Yes I would. I would ask for the global introduction of the maximum wage, and a year's supply of body scrub. 1.29pm GMT urlastdance asks:You still got your tank? Can you bring it up here? I’m in dispute with the social and need some big guns to make my point.It was a hire tank. It wasn't actually mine. I forget where we hired it from, but it like Moss Bros for the arms industry. If you put in "tank hire" into Google, I bet you'll find something. 1.28pm GMT jonfanning asks:Has a security guard, copper or other minion ever said “sorry mate I know your right really” while chucking you out? And have they ever slipped you information or provided other help?Yes! Yes they have. Once, somebody came out to move us along and said keep doing what you're doing, because it's really fucking them off in there... 1.27pm GMT paddysdad asks:Are you ever going to do a show with just nob gags in again? I still remember fondly your bit about everyone sucking & fucking in Hyde Park and one bloke walking round shouting ‘Socialist Worker, get your Socialist Worker here!’ Fucking genius.I'm fond of a knob gag. In my last show, there were quite a few. But at the age of 52, to do an entire show of them would be creepy. 1.26pm GMT bluelambretta asks:The next election – should we bother?Yes. I do not adhere to the Russell Brand don't vote scenario. When you stop voting, the ruling class fucking love you because you've moved off the playing field. It's not the only battleground, but it's a battleground.I have said in the past we shouldn't bother voting, but that was anger and petulance. I'm voting Green as I have done for years. I want to see the renationalisation of the railways, I want to see a discussion about the maximum wage, I want to see policies that actually benefit people. That fight to reduce the gap between rich and poor. 1.24pm GMT ID010957 writes: I have two questions:1. There seem to be quite a few theories that were once widely held to be of the “conspiracy” variety (e.g. fitting up of miners during the 1983/4 strike, and football fans at Hillsborough) that have turned out to be true. Do you have any predictions of future similar revelations?2. When you are considering which subject to work on how do you feel?Overwhelmed/depressed, or inspired by the potential to make change for good?David Icke gave me a magic 8 ball, but it appears to be broken. I blame the royal family... Police/corporate spying is the big story that will produce more and more stories.Q2: A mixture of all of the above. But the main feeling is obsession. 1.22pm GMT Psodal asks: Having caught Cuckooed at the Tron last week, I remember you telling us that although the second half was “a play”, that it would be brilliant, and it was. That said, there seemed to be no need for any acting, as you seemed genuinely heartbroken by the betrayal described in the show. So, my question is whether writing and performing Cuckooed has been in any way a form of therapy, that allows you to forge something positive from what has clearly been a traumatic and unjust experience? And if so, looking back over the whole period, has the overall experience been beneficial, or is it still too raw to think in those terms?Inadvertently it has been therapeutic. Initially I thought it was important to tell the story, and to use the voices of my friends involved to tell the story. It has certainly brought us as friends closer, and made us confront some of the issues together.A mate of mine saw the show, and he works with Alzheimer's and dementia sufferers, and he said that our personal stories form an enormous part of our identity. And that what I have done, is inadvertently walked on stage and said my past story was inaccurate - this is the true story, this is who I am. 1.21pm GMT JahWarrior asks: Do you thing we will ever see a government again that is run in the interests of the people and not big business?As a socialist should I support the UK being in the EU or not?That is entirely down to us. Getting out there and trying to make that happen.Part two: EU is something we should have a referendum on, not least because it seems to have enshrined monetarism at its core. I'm a big fan of the human rights act. 1.19pm GMT hmmmyeahwhatever asks: Do you think the new Greek government can succeed and set a precedent in response to austerity? Or will they make life worse for the Greek people and inadvertently fuel the fascists?I hope so. And in part two, who knows, but there's nothing gained by not trying. 1.18pm GMT abilay2461 asks: Are we likely to see fair governance which shortens the gap between rich and poor? If yes, then how?Don't know. It is, it has to be, one of if not the most important political questions. I like the idea of the maximum wage, and I think that this is something we should fight for, not just the living wage which is really important, but a maximum wage which is great way of getting a fair society. We should be floating the idea. The maximum wage would be based on a formula which can be decided later - ten times the national average, or something of that ilk. If that was the law, trade unions would ask for a pay cut and their bosses would be all: "Noooo!" 1.17pm GMT Hugo_Istay asksSo Prince Charles can’t understand why immigrant families - especially those born in the UK - don’t “get” British values... but if they live in closed communities and go to faith schools and don’t mix with other British people, how are they meant to achieve Britishness? So my question is, do you think we should abolish faith schools and any other schools that segregate children - not unlike the schools in South Africa and America which we all condemned not too long ago...Yeah, we should abolish them. We should just have good state schools, that don't create middle-class ghettos. 1.15pm GMT rickylee369 asks: I think that your book Belching Out The Devil should be on any required reading list, on every syllabus. As you are not Katie Price, and therefore are likely to have written it yourself, you will know that it deals with the Coca Cola Company. Those who haven’t yet given it a chance, should know that it is a forensic examination, not only of the culture of secrecy behind one of the worlds most successful brands, but also a pretty decent polemic on the nature of corporations in general.I have three questions. The first is obvious. Do you ever drink the stuff? I ask this not to suggest any hypocrisy, but because, due to it’s universality there are often few other options when you want a refreshing soft drink, even if it leaves a bitter taste. Also, a proper rum and coke, does require ‘the real thing’. The second, of course, is what has happened since publication, (and the release of the equally excellent Dispatches documentary (Available on YouTube)) to make you think that they might have cleaned up their act, and do you believe you have made a difference?I would also ask, greedily, whether you still regard yourself as a comedian foremost, or an activist? Do I ever drink Coke? No. Does a rum and coke require it? Don't know!I regard myself as a performer and writer who regards himself as political. 1.12pm GMT ID010957 asks:Ian King trolling alert!A great question. This question comes from the fact that I have I said I would not perform in Israel. You have to break it down into three parts. Firstly, there's a perception that I am not a critic of Saudi Arabia, and I am singling out Israel for criticism. Which is wrong. I organised the demonstration against the Saudi royal state visit to this country, including threatening taking police to court if they didn't allow the demonstration. I organised the fundraising fopr the legal challenge to the Serious Fraud Office over the collapse of the BAE/Saudi bribery allegations investigation. And was intimately involved in the court case. I've been outside the Saudi embassy demonstrating more times than the questioner, I suspect.Second part. I have not called for a cultural boycott. I am supporting the Palestinians call. If Saudi Arabian civic society called for a cultural boycott, with clear aims and objectives as a method for galvanising non-violent action against an oppressive regime, I would support that call. 1.11pm GMT Dave Marshall asks:Is satire the best way of defeating ISIS?Oh that it was! It would be genius to think that one good gag could bring them crumbling. You just have to find the right "knock knock" gag. 1.09pm GMT Ben Gaskell asks:Is democracy an illusion? Particulary in this country - fundamental change seems impossible given the electoral system we have.No, it's not an illusion. We need more of it. It should be extended out to workplaces, and communities, instead of just councils. 1.08pm GMT And here is the answer to his first question...D5594763 asks: What’s your opinion on people who don’t clear up their dog’s poo?This relates to a show I did called The Manifesto, where people would submit their policies to change the world, and there was a huge number of policies against people who didn't clear up dog poo. They ranged from rubbing the owner's face in it, to putting luminous dye in dog food, so it would glow in the dark. My own opinion is: clear up your dog poo! It's good manners. I occasionally pick up after other people's. 10.51am GMT Sometimes political life in the UK, as well as policing, military action and environmental degradation, can seem so absurd that all you can do is laugh. Mark Thomas takes that despair and turns it back into action, blending activism and comedy in an excoriating whole. His targets have variously included tax-avoiding MPs, trade union bashers, and the Queen – and he uses belly laughs to sweeten the bitter pill of injustice.His new monologue Cuckooed, which he is touring around the country this month, takes on the age-old Thomas target of the arms trade. He recounts how a BAE Systems spy infiltrated anti-arms demonstrators over a number of years, gulling Thomas himself into believing he was an authentic protestor: it’s the focus for a exploration of betrayal at the hands of private industry and the state. Lyn Gardner described it as “a clever, funny and angry show” in a four-star review when it debuted at the Edinburgh festival last year. Continue reading...
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