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Friday, August 12, 2016

11 signs you're working with a narcissist

[Narcissus Caravaggio Narcissist selfish]Wikimedia Commons In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a hunter with a beautiful face and a rotten heart. Coming upon a clear pool in the forest, he fell in love with his own reflection. All Narcissus could do was pine over himself until he withered away and died. Unless you took part in some seriously trippy weekend conference, I'd guess that nothing like that's ever happened at your job. However, that doesn't mean there aren't narcissists among us. In fact, most people have a bit of a narcissistic streak — it's really more of a spectrum than a dichotomy. Odds are, you probably work — or have worked — with one (especially if you live in a big city and work in an entertainment-based industry, according to Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman). Here are some signs that you are working with a narcissist: _Drake Baer and Vivian Giang _contributed to a previous version of this article. THEY HATE EMOTIONS The "very fact of having a feeling in the presence of another person suggests you can be touched emotionally by friends, family, partners, and even the occasional tragedy or failure," says Harvard Medical School psychologist Craig Malkin That's why narcissists abhor them. Feeling an emotion "challenges their sense of perfect autonomy," he continues. "To admit to a feeling of any kind suggests they can be affected by someone or something outside of them." As a result, narcissists tend to change the topic of conversation when feelings come up — especially their own. Depending on your office culture, you may or may not be pouring your heart out to your colleagues. If one of your coworkers seems unusually allergic to emotions, they might just be shy or reserved — or there might be something more going on. Macall B. Polay / HBO THEY REALLY, REALLY LOVE BEING IN CONTROL Narcissists typically enjoy leadership positions since they are able to dominate others and fulfill their need for constant positive reinforcement. Narcissists thrive in "leadership situations where they can dazzle and dominate others without having to cooperate or suffer the consequences of a bad reputation," psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman wrote at Psychology Today. So if you're on the hunt for narcissists in the office, you might want to look at your manager first. THEY ARE YOUNG AND MALE (AND POSSESS ALL THE OTHER TRAITS) After 34,653 face-to-face interviews, psychologist Frederick Stinson found that men tend to be more narcissistic than women across their lifespans. Narcissism is also believed to peak during adolescence and decline with age. SEE THE REST OF THE STORY AT BUSINESS INSIDER


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